


Light-Footed

by Lokincest



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, I have a lot of sad feels about Loki's kids, Light Angst, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokincest/pseuds/Lokincest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: <em>"Sometimes Loki leaves the halls of the palace and goes to the stables and visits Sleipnir and one time Thor followed him because despite the fact that he's known Loki his whole life, Thor doesn't know his children very well and so Loki introduces them."</em></p><p>The fic ended up a shade angstier than the prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light-Footed

Thor goes to bed shortly after nightfall. He lies awake, listening, until the moon has risen high in the sky. 

Everything is loud and echoey at night. Even the servants walking lightly with their soft-soled shoes can be heard. Loki's room is only a short jaunt down the hall. But Thor hears nothing at all from Loki's room.

He knows Loki better than that. Despite the fact that he's heard nothing, Thor slips out of bed and goes to check Loki's room. Earlier Loki had made a point to tell Thor he was exhausted and that he would prefer if "certain blonde oafs" did not disturb him. Thor had told him he would certainly keep watch for such troublemakers, and Loki had rolled his eyes.

Thor has no qualms now about simply opening Loki's door and going inside. There's a lump in Loki's bed. It's suspiciously not yelling at him about respecting boundaries and privacy, so Thor is entirely unsurprised when he pulls down the sheets and finds a pillow. 

Exactly as he thought, then. 

Thor shuts his brother's door quietly when he leaves, and then sneaks out of the palace.

Sif had told Thor earlier about a mysterious someone who had been slipping into the stables night after night. Whoever it was never seemed to steal anything, but none of the stable hands could catch the person in time to see who it was. In fact, the stranger seemed to vanish into thin air. Only one person in this kingdom could be so sly.

Thor approaches the stables very slowly, not letting even a wayward pebble turn under his heel. It helps to be barefooted, although the air chills his feet. When he's close, Thor stands perfectly still and simply lets himself adjust to the darkness, to the natural ambiance of the environment. Listening.

The night is calm, deathly silent but for the occasional huff of breath from a horse, or chirp of some insect. The air smells like warm hay. It strikes him with an odd feeling. It's suddenly occurred to Thor how long it's been since he's really even visited the stables. He and Loki used to ride far more often, but these days Thor has been consumed with training, fighting, and hunting. It's been years.

It's not that he ever stopped enjoying the horses, it's not that he had ever gotten sick of them or decided something foolish like 'horses are for children'... Thor had simply found himself consumed with new interests and had managed to forget.

There's a soft nickering from the stalls, and a soft sound in response, a soothing sort of hushing sound that is unmistakably Aesir but very quiet. There is indeed someone in the stalls, and Thor has no doubt that it could only be Loki. Even as certain as he is, Thor does not move yet. What he's waiting for, Thor himself isn't certain. Perhaps he hopes to hear something incriminating, a clue as to why Loki is creeping about the stables in the dark. What sort of mischief his brother is up to this time. 

The night is so silent that he can clearly hear a soft, deep intake of breath. Just that quiet sound chills Thor to the core. He knows that particular noise fairly well, and it's only associated with grief. 

Why is Loki crying?

Thor moves forward cautiously, shifting his weight onto the ball of his foot. He takes a silent step, and then another. Trying to get as close to Loki as possible. He manages to move himself a few yards, and he can just barely see Loki in the dim. There's a stall door open, and Loki is half inside of it. Thor can see the horse more clearly than he can see his own brother, their forms shadowy and blending together in the nearly nonexistent light. 

He can't tell, but he thinks that Loki must have his head against the horse's neck, and perhaps even his arms wound around the beast in a gentle embrace. The thought makes his heart ache. Did his brother seek comfort? Why would he choose to console himself with horses? It's understandable, in a way... they are great, quiet beasts, incapable of judgment. They are also, in a sense, incapable of returning love. Not the way Thor would see fit – with strong arms to squeeze Loki tight, and voice to offer reassurance and advice and praise. Loki deserves all of those things if he is hurting. So why... why would he not come to his own brother for such comfort?

Thor tries to think back these past days, and weeks, even months. He tries to remember when he last told Loki he loved him, and how often he spent any time with his brother. Thor cringes to find his memory coming up with very little. But this he can remedy.

Thor knows he can't get much closer before Loki will notice him. His footsteps aren't entirely silent. He can't hold his breath forever. Even the slightest rustle of his clothes could tip Loki off. Or his brother could simply turn his head and notice Thor's silhouette in the gloom. And Loki has mastered the art of stepping into the shadows and vanishing. This entire place is an enormous shadow. Loki would vanish without a word and deny everything.

He has little choice about how to proceed. So Thor chooses to approach this the best way he knows how – by being straightforward.

"Loki," Thor says quietly, but his voice is still a gentle thunder. Loki startles, pulling himself away from the horse, but his hands linger on the beast's strong neck. 

This isn't just any horse, this is Sleipnir, their father's personal steed. Thor notices the way Loki strokes the sleek fur, almost absent mindedly, to soothe the creature. It's said to be the swiftest horse in the Nine Realms, born with eight legs, a wonder, but Thor still wonders why Loki is petting this horse in particular. When it was a foal, it had been sickly. Loki had personally helped it back to strong health. Thor would have understood if Loki had become attached, but he never seemed to be. In fact, Thor recalls, after the foal had become well again, Loki never came back to the stables.

Loki's stance is strange, almost as if he is defensive, protective. For a moment, Thor can see that his brother's face is fearful, but then his guard goes up and he simply looks angry. But he didn't mistake the fear. Thor can't understand.

"What do you want?" Loki asks, annoyance seeped into his voice. Thor has heard this exact question so many times in his young life, and in the same exasperated tone of voice. Now he wonders about a lot.

"You weren't in bed," Thor says, although it's not quite that simple. It's a good place to start.

"Do you check often?" Loki sneers.

Thor resists Loki's hostile attitude and remains calm. "There was rumor of a mysterious someone getting into the stables. You know you're not supposed to be sneaking around Asgard in the middle of the night."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize your princely duties involved enforcing bedtime," Loki mocks, cheery. "And aren't you the rain calling the ocean wet? Unless Father sent you here to do his bidding like the good little dog you are."

Now Thor's face crinkles at Loki in a scowl. "I don't need to use magics to hide myself and creep about. Several servants saw me on my way out of the palace. Not one of them will breathe a word to Father."

"That you're aware of," Loki mutters, and turns his attention to the horse. Thor knows it is a thin excuse to not have to look him in the eye. Something has struck a nerve.

"I have Father's trust," Thor says. "You'd have it too if you weren't always causing trouble."

Loki lets out a breathy, bitter-sounding laugh that makes Thor hurt. "So what _terrible~_ deed am I plotting this time, oh great and mighty Thor? What scheme have you come to put an end to this time? Go on, tell me. I can't wait to hear what crimes I'm not even aware I'm plotting. Although I'm sure it'll never top Sif accusing me of practically wanting to steal your skin and become you."

Thor realizes his mistake and shakes his head. He let Loki antagonize him, he let himself rise to it and start a fight. He's always wondered why Loki felt the need to turn every simple conversation into an argument. Now he knows it's merely a distraction. Another illusion, another way for Loki to hide. But if he stops now, maybe he can prevent Loki from closing himself off again. 

"I did not think you were scheming, Loki."

Loki's eyes narrow. "Oh. So you discovered that I've been coming to the stables late at night, in secret, and you did not have the slightest notion in your head that perhaps the evil trickster is up to no good?" In an instant, Thor's mouth opens to deny, but Loki cuts him off, his tone vicious. "Be careful how you answer that, brother. I can't help but tell lies, but it's not in your nature. I won't forgive them coming from you."

Thor pauses. He wants to protest the unfairness of it, that Loki is allowed to spew lies at him, always, and Thor can only spill his guts. But then he thinks, the unfairness is the point. To everyone else, nothing that comes from Loki's lips is trustworthy. Nothing the comes from Thor's lips can be anything but gold. Time and time again, they've used that to their advantage, to play little tricks together. No one would suspect the golden prince of such a thing. It made Loki laugh, but it also made him rage. Thor has only ever been the one to trust Loki's counsel, his judgment, in important matters. Because despite it all, Loki has never failed him when he was needed. And there is unfairness in this dichotomy between them, the truth and lies, even in private. If Loki is a liar, then Thor can smile when Loki insists that he hates him. If Thor is a liar, then Loki can only doubt when Thor says that he loves him.

"I did think that you were here with something in mind," Thor admits. "But exactly what, I couldn't say. I honestly did not even get so far as to imagine anything."

Loki stares at Thor for a moment, the green of his eyes glinting almost venomously in the low light as he weighs the honesty in Thor's words. He seems to believe Thor, because a mere moment later he relaxes and the intense gaze becomes a half smirk. "You always did have a poor imagination."

Thor gives his brother a brief smile before the worry settles back on his face. "To be honest with you, Brother," Thor says slowly, unsure of how to best speak. "I had heard..."

Loki goes tense and interrupts him at once. "You heard _**what**?_ "

The growl surprises Thor, and he falters for a moment. He hadn't expected Loki to get so defensive, but the fact that he is doesn't intimidate him, it only makes him more concerned. "Nothing, I suppose. But it seemed to me as if you were..." he pauses, studying Loki's face for a moment, and then he knows for sure. "...You are sad."

"I'm not," Loki scoffs, but he can't manage to maintain the illusion of derision. His face crumbles, although his expression remains hard, angry that Thor is prying. "It doesn't matter, Thor," he says quietly, the only emotion in his voice a tired plea to let it go. "You can't change anything."

The knowledge that there is, in fact, _something_ makes Thor's heart pound wildly. He wants to capture Loki hard in his hands and force him to speak. He wants to hold him tenderly and coax the unflinching truth out of his brother.

"Tell me," Thor says, and Loki shakes his head, half turning as if he wants to leave, but finding no escape route. In truth, there is nothing stopping Loki from fleeing, so Thor takes the reluctance as a positive sign. Loki _wants_ to tell him, he only needs to figure out how to soothe his brother's nerves.

"Loki, please," Thor says, stepping towards his brother. He lifts a hand and slowly rests it on Loki's shoulder, not meaning to make his young brother feel trapped, only comforted. "Whatever it is, you can tell me," he says, earnest, but Loki keeps shaking his head and avoiding his eyes. " _Yes_ , Loki. You might be wrong about this. I may be able to help."

"You _can't!_ " Loki snarls, the sudden outburst startling them both. He drops his head again, sucking in a breath and sighing, a soft, desperate noise. This is the way that Loki sounds when he is trying to cry without being heard.

It troubles Thor to realize that he has become very familiar with this sound. There used to be a time when Loki didn't try to hide his tears. If there was a reason to cry, then there could be no shame in it. That was how Thor always felt about such things. But he realizes, more and more he's only overheard Loki trying to cry quietly. He had given his brother privacy the few times he noticed, thinking that if Loki was trying to conceal his grief then truly he wanted to be left alone. He had thought that Loki simply felt differently about such things and needed no comforting. Now he wonders if he had entirely misread the situation. He wonders what in the Hel is bothering his brother.

Back then, Thor had been unsure of how to breech Loki's space. Now, Thor rubs his hands over Loki's shoulders and closes the inches between them. He leans down and presses his forehead against the top of Loki's bowed head.

The proximity shatters what little composure Loki had left. With a broken gasp, Loki starts sobbing quietly and shaking in Thor's arms. He might as well be screaming.

Thor doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Loki, pulling him closer. Loki shudders again and buries his face against Thor's light tunic, where he pants for breath. Thor holds still, only making soft, comforting noises similar to what their mother used to do. He keeps his arms tight around Loki, as if promising he will never let him go. Every time Thor tightens the squeeze, Loki instinctively relaxes against him. If Loki needs to be held, then Thor resolves that he will never let go.

He waits.

It doesn't take long for Loki's small cries to silence again, but Thor knows that his brother is still hurting. Loki has his fingers dug into Thor's shirt, clutching at him desperately as if he might disappear. Only after several long minutes, the last tremor has left Loki's body, and his fingers slacken their grip. His head is heavy on Thor's chest, his breathing slower, and Thor knows that his brother is exhausted.

Thor moves his hand from Loki's back and brushes it over his head. He leans himself back a little, trying to see Loki's face. His brother's eyes are shiny with lingering tears, but otherwise dulled, as if the life has gone from them. It's hard to tell if Loki is better off now, or worse. He can't help but worry still.

"Loki?" Thor questions softly. He doesn't mean to pry about anything. If there is any question left to ask, he only intends to ask if Loki will allow him to carry him back to his room. And even if Loki refuses, Thor supposes that he'll lift Loki off of his feet and carry him anyway. At the very least, Thor wonders if he could somehow persuade Loki to share a bed with him tonight. He suspects that Loki would truly sleep better curled against his chest tonight, no matter what Loki might profess otherwise. He knows for a fact that he himself would have better sleep for it.

Instead, Loki surprises him. "I'll tell you," Loki mumbles against his chest, his voice just as forlorn as his eyes. He takes a sighing breath that seems to summon a small amount of his liveliness back, but that small vigor still isn't pleasant. "But you have to promise me something."

Thor wasn't expecting this. As worn out as Loki appears to be, Thor briefly considers telling Loki to forget about it for now, but he fears that if he does, Loki will never open up to him again.

"Anything."

Loki actually perks against Thor's chest, lifting his head properly and Thor sees that his eyes have lit up a bit. "Anything? Oh, in that case... I want you to wash my feet for me every morning, and build me a private library that you'll fill with every rare grimoire that exists in the Nine, and tame a pet bilgesnipe for me, and bring me my food on a golden platter, and oh, just be my slave for the rest of eternity."

"What?" Thor laughs, unable to help himself because Loki is smiling despite his reddened eyes.

"You said anything," Loki points out, but already the smile is sliding off his face. "Okay. In all seriousness, then, if you insist." He pauses for a moment, staring at some unfocused spot in the short distance between them while he gathers his thoughts. He seems sad again, and Thor already misses the jesting mood, but he needs to hear whatever it is that is weighing on Loki.

"You can't tell anyone," Loki says, at last. "Not your damned friends. Not even Mother. ...Especially not Mother," he adds quietly, and Thor wonders why he doesn't mention Father. "It won't help. I know you'd want to try, but... believe me. It will only make things worse." Loki's voice loses energy even as he speaks, and he pauses, staring again at nothing. Thor cannot guess what Loki is thinking, but somehow Loki looks worse now, as if what little hope he had gained has been just as quickly snuffed out. He shuts his eyes, his face creasing as if in pain. "Forget it," he whispers, his voice tight. "It's stupid."

"No," Thor objects, catching Loki's wrists when his brother actually starts to leave. He has to tug Loki back into place, to keep him here. The look of frustration and annoyance Loki gives him is a blessing – anything is better than the despair he just saw.

"It's not stupid," Thor says. "I don't know what it is, but it can't be stupid. Tell me."

"You _don't_ know what it is," Loki agrees. "Trust me, it's just dumb. It doesn't matter." But denying it seems to pain Loki more, and Thor knows it's the most obvious lie he's ever heard come out of his brother's mouth.

"If something is hurting you like this, then it matters," Thor insists.

Loki is quiet for a long time, as if weighing his options. Thor worries that Loki won't say a word. He seems exhausted by now, between the hour and the strung-out tension. But instead of evading any longer, Loki switches gears and simply gives in.

"He's mine," Loki says, his voice low and blunted.

Thor hears the words, but he doesn't understand.

"Yours," he repeats, careful to give a certain air of thoughtfulness to his tone, aware of how sensitive Loki could be. He worries that if he simply questioned Loki, it would lead to more anger. "I know that you... tended to him when he was a foal. He would have died without you. He should be yours."

"No, Thor, Sleipnir _is_ mine," Loki corrects, quiet but biting with anger all the same. "I birthed him."

"I... thought that you were sought out after his birth."

"Thor," Loki says. "Do you not recall the troubles we had with Asgard's wall? The builder and his horse? Do you really believe the pitiful yarn father spun about how I... _scared off_ the stallion? Do you not recall that I used to adore shapeshifting arts? Have you noticed at all that I do not anymore? What did Father even say while I was missing for those long months? When I returned? Do you ever question anything?"

Loki seems more disgusted and disappointed with Thor than truly angry, and somehow that is far worse. Thor cannot think of anything to say. His mind reels with what his brother is implying to him... confessing to him. Loki _had_ gone missing for so long... and Thor had only questioned it once. As soon as Odin said it was of no concern, that Loki would return in due time, he hadn't even thought of it, beyond occasionally missing his brother. He certainly hadn't been worried. And now looking back, Thor feels absolutely sick. Suddenly there's so much he should have asked, should have known. What was the first thing he said to Loki when he saw him again? He thinks it was, _Did you have fun?_

"Loki..." Thor says, only to keep the silence from suffocating them, but it still hangs heavily as ever. He has no words for this. There is nothing he can say that can make it better. There is nothing he can think of right now that would be construed as anything besides pity, and Thor knows that Loki would cut his tongue out of his head if he tried to give anything that sounded like a platitude.

The stalemate is interrupted by a noise in the distance, startling them both.

The sound of footsteps.

"It's only a stablehand," Thor says, but Loki leans in and grips his upper arms, fingernails digging into Thor's skin with intensity equal to his wide-eyed gaze.

"I was not here," Loki says, his voice hushed but full of urgency. "You came for whatever purpose... to investigate your rumors... but found nothing. You were speaking to the horse."

Thor's mouth opens to object, but the pure... terror? in Loki's eyes stops him cold. He can't refuse his brother's silent plea, even if he doesn't understand it. Instead he very pointedly shuts his mouth, hoping to show Loki that he can be trusted with this. 

Loki seems somewhat relieved, if still deeply troubled. His death grip slackens, and his hands fall away. He turns, and Thor watches Loki step closer to Sleipnir, his hands raising to stroke both sides of the stallion's face with such delicate care. Sleipnir lifts his head gently, as if nuzzling closer to Loki's touch, and Loki leans in just enough to nudge his face against the dapple grey fur, a kiss goodnight, and then he vanishes.

At Loki's disappearance, Sleipnir becomes unsettled, nickering softly in distress, and Thor quickly steps in to soothe him.

"Easy, boy," Thor murmurs, reaching out carefully to stroke the horse's nose. Sleipnir pushes his head against Thor's hand, nuzzling. He snorts softly, breath moist and hot against Thor's palm. For an instance, Thor foolishly thinks that it was Loki's trick that scared Sleipnir, but this is not a spooked horse. Rather, the horse pushes his face affectionately against Thor's hands and then turns away, looking around, as if trying to figure out _where_ Loki went, where he is hiding.

The stablehand will be there at any moment, and Thor knows he should think of something to say, but his mind is full of more important matters.

If Sleipnir is Loki's, then why in Hel would he have to sneak about to see his own _child?_ But it's a stupid question, Thor realizes, because as soon as he wonders it to himself, he already knows the answer. There was no way that their father would allow this truth to be known. Loki would be forbidden from ever approaching the stables again or speaking of this to anyone.

Sadly, affectionately, Thor strokes Sleipnir's muzzle, hoping to soothe the poor beast before Thor is caught and forced to leave as well. Sleipnir... Loki's _son_. It should seem bizarre, illogical, but instead all Thor can think of is that it makes so much _sense_. 

"I always did wonder why your eyes were green."


End file.
